life:: adventures in babysitting

Small children have no filter.

I tend to forget that.

We have a quiet home.  We have an only child and since he is 15 years-old, I have forgotten about the constant, unfiltered monologue that spews from the mouths of babes.

We hosted our great-niece and -nephew over a recent weekend.  I say hosted because it’s not really babysitting when they are 8 and 11 respectively.  We gave their parents a free pass to enjoy the weekend.

They sooo owe us.

Within the first 15 minutes, the boy dug out my son’s BB-gun from the back of his closet and threatened to shoot his sister.  Really?  It had to start off that badly?  He’s 11 – are they learning any common sense?  Thankfully, we only have rubber BBs.  In the boy’s defense, he already knew the BB-gun was hidden there because he was allowed to watch our son target practice last summer on soda cans.  We have always thought that knowledge aided in prevention.  At least it worked with our son. So even though he had been warned repeatedly to never touch that BB-gun without adult supervision, it was the first thing he went for when no one was looking.  He got one helluva scolding from his uncle.

Needless to say, we immediately had to implement segregation.  Boys got the living room, girls got the she-cave.

With that done, I had to change up the game plan for the whole day.

After answering approximately 10-15 questions about my hobby room, yarn, crochet, why boys are gross, who was my 3rd grade teacher, and many many others…

enter Pinterest.

Somewhere in all that she mentioned how much she LOVES dresses and jewelry and all things girly.

Oh yes, it was time to introduce her to Pinterest.  I had to get some quiet.

She love love loved it.

Alas, I still did not experience silence.

The monologue morphed into oohs and aaahs, and you have to see this one Aunt Lisa, and these boots are divine!  Guilty as charged:: she gets the whole divine thing from me. 

Fast forward to after dinner, OMG what I am going to do to keep these children separated and occupied?  Aha moment!  Let’s go shopping.  To a girly store.  With so much stuff in it that she will be left speechless.  The boys are on their own.

Enter Charming Charlie.

Lord, thank you for Charming Charlie.

It’s all accessories, all the time, and color-coordinated to mimic a fabulous glamorous closet.

Lord, please help me get through the 20 minute ride there.

The monologue began again.  This time I counted.  And then I stopped counting because I thought my head might explode.  In the first 10 minutes of that 20 minute ride I heard the words, “And guess what?” start NO LESS THAN 19 SENTENCES.  You can see why I stopped counting.

and guess what

and guess what

and guess what

And I could no longer guess.  Goodness gracious!

It reminded me of a time when my own child was about 5 and inserted ummm between nearly every word he said.  At one point, to teach him to think before he spoke we made a game of interrupting him and saying ‘purple-plaid’ every time  he uttered an ummm.  He would laugh so hard and it ended up taking only a couple of weeks to break him of the habit.

Charming Charlie did the trick!  She was wide-eyed and amazed and delighted and it was the perfect girl’s night out for this munchkin.  We spent more than an hour and she must have tried on 15 hats, and 100 bracelets and 50 rings and necklaces and scarves and she love love loved it.  She posed and preened and laughed and smiled and giggled and darted from display to display. And I didn’t hear ‘and guess what?’ a single time.  She was just being and enjoying it.

Finally, she went through all of the maybes in the basket that I had been toting around.  After much deliberation, she decided on a hair clip and a bracelet.  Then she said, “Please get me out of here before I change my mind”.  Spoken like a TRUE shopaholic!

And on the ride home, I did not hear a single ‘and guess what’.

Thank you God for that reprieve.

And when we got home she took a bubble bath, and put on her pink jammies and her bracelet and got all tucked in and slept.  In the morning, she told me that she loved coming to visit me and spending time doing girly things and that it was the most beautiful bracelet ever and she would love it for always.

And guess what?

My entire post containing way too many run on sentences was done to merely illustrate a small tidbit of the monologue of that wonderful child.

Thanks for stopping by.